Looking Into The Children’s Eyes: The Experiences Of Offspring In Parental Separation

Abstract

Parental separation profoundly impacts children’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. While most research focuses on its aftermath, few studies examine how pre-separation experiences shape short- and long-term effects. This study explores the lived experiences of adults who witnessed parental separation during their transition stage from childhood to adolescence. Using a phenomenological approach, six (6) participants from Batangas Province were selected through purposive sampling. Data were collected through in-depth interviews and analyzed using the modified Colaizzi method. Findings reveal that pre-separation experiences fall into two categories: constant exposure to parental conflicts or a perceived sense of normalcy. Witnessing frequent disputes, parental irresponsibility, and infidelity led to embarrassment, withdrawal, and emotional suppression, while those shielded from conflicts developed a false sense of security that later affected their coping mechanisms. Post-separation effects included economic instability, premature role shifts, and family fragmentation. Participants faced financial burdens, educational disruptions, and sibling separation, contributing to emotional distress, biased perceptions against one parent, rebellion, and reconciliation fantasies. Some, however, reported a sense of relief from reduced parental conflict. Long-term effects varied: those exposed to conflict often experienced unresolved resentment, relationship difficulties, and internalized negative self-beliefs, while others showed positive adaptation and growth. However, a key finding is that none of the participants achieved full healing, as emotional scars persist into adulthood.To address these challenges, the Healing through Integrative Life-Oriented Method (HILOM) Program was developed to foster emotional recovery, self-awareness, and resilience.